Posts by Cold Creek Swimmer

8

WTBS Sponsored Lobotomies!

by Cold Creek Swimmer in

i just wanted to share with all of you on this forum my newfound joy.

thanks to a new understanding by the fds, they are able to provide to certain ones of us a lobotomie free of charge!

i was quite upset at first when my wife approached me with this news, but my tune soon changed.

I tend to agree. They only had to remove 1/2 my brain before I could get to this level of happiness! I don't know what I thought I was doing walking around with all those extra brain cells making me think. If it wasn't for those of us with Reasoning Difficulties, there would be no need for this type of procedure. They got "New Light" at just the right time.

I think the greatest part of the deal is that now I don't have to spend any money getting a college degree to help with counseling ones in the faith who are having trouble in their personal lives. After only 2-3 years as a Ministerial Servant, I'll qualify to be able to provide this counsel to the down hearted and those who have suffered terrible abuse at the hands of other friends. If only I would have gotten this help sooner, I would have been able to save so much reproach heaped on the Organization by being able to help these ones to see that all these things need to be kept personal and in the Congregation without the need to have any civil action brought against our dear brothers. Only with the help of these untrained counselors is God's spirit able to act on these ones to change the error of their ways. How good and wonderful it is to be one of God's chosen followers.

CCS(sarcastically)

8

WTBS Sponsored Lobotomies!

by Cold Creek Swimmer in

i just wanted to share with all of you on this forum my newfound joy.

thanks to a new understanding by the fds, they are able to provide to certain ones of us a lobotomie free of charge!

i was quite upset at first when my wife approached me with this news, but my tune soon changed.

Cold Creek Swimmer

Sue, Philip,

Thanks for the good feedback. I wrote a similar e-mail to a friend who found it quite amusing, so I thought I would share.

CCS

8

WTBS Sponsored Lobotomies!

by Cold Creek Swimmer in

i just wanted to share with all of you on this forum my newfound joy.

thanks to a new understanding by the fds, they are able to provide to certain ones of us a lobotomie free of charge!

i was quite upset at first when my wife approached me with this news, but my tune soon changed.

Cold Creek Swimmer

I just wanted to share with all of you on this forum my newfound joy. Thanks to a new understanding by the FDS, they are able to provide to certain ones of us a lobotomie free of charge! I was quite upset at first when my wife approached me with this news, but my tune soon changed. She convinced me that it was for the good of the family and that when it was over, I would be quite happy.

Long story short, I had mine done last Friday. Spectacular! I have never been so happy! Now thanks to the Society, I no longer need to worry about the small things in life, like how to dress appropriately, proper grooming, deductive reasoning, thinking for myself. It's great! If I have a question, all I need to do is look it up in the index and then I have the answer on any subject-including the proper sexual position! Imagine that! All that on just one CD! But wait, there's more!

I was guaranteed that by getting the procedure I would be eligible for the priviledge of more work and responsibility and time away from family in just 1 year! How great is that! All I have to do is continue the mental therapy 5 times a week as well as spend only a minimum of 10 hours a month telling others about my great, new life. I can already taste the wonderful blessings given to me by God's Earthly Organization. What a great feeling in this "Time of the End" to know I don't even have to think and I'm guaranteed eternal life on this planet Earth. Oh how I long for the days when my newfound brothers and I toil over the destruction from Armageddon while rebuilding the earth to it's paradise state. I feel so small when I think of the priviledge it will be to have been chosen by God to work tirelessly cleaning up this filthy earth and burying all the dead who did not believe.

Fortunately, since I was not disfellowshipped, but only inactive, the Society paid for this remarkable transformation. For those of you who are disfellowshipped or Disassociated, the Society is offering a onetime deal of 50% off the already reduced rates-and if that isn't enough-there is a group discount for families of 3 or more when the children are younger than 10! How can you pass up a deal like that! I almost wet myself after my procedure when we went over all the new offers and benefits from such a simple operation. It is mind-numbing how much they care for us. Literally, I haven't been able to feel my head for days. What a wonderful organization.

Remember to act now though, because this offer will end SOON! I would hate to see all of you left out in the cold to die in the "Great day of God the Almighty". Please contact your local service department for more details and pricing. (This offer not valid with any other offer. Closed to residents of Puerto Rico, Guam and all 3rd world nations. Must be 18 or older. Side effects may include vomiting, diahrrea, night sweats, loss of sexual appetite, elder worship, Demon Trouble, and an unnatural urge to urinate at the Kingdom Hall. If any of these symptoms continue, please see the Presiding Overseer for the proper counsel and medical treatment.)

10

Know of a commentary on Revelation BETTER than the Rev Climax book?

by M.J. in

know of a good commentary/analysis of revelation?

a reference that's faithful to the concept of exegesis rather than eisegesis*?.

a good antidote to the revelation climax book currently being studied by jws?.

Cold Creek Swimmer

You can go to wernerbiblecommentary.org. This is a site that is updated with commentaries on different books of the bible including Revelation. It is written by a man who left Bethel almost 30 yrs ago during the inquisition. He was a researcher and writer prior to leaving. His current views are much different than what is being vomited into the WTS publications. He bases his commentaries on the original wording from the ancient Greek and Hebrew texts of the bible, and uses the best translation into english from whatever bible that has that particular passage translated most accurately. You do not need to sign in when you get to the webpage. Just click on the links and go. It is not a commercial site, just a site for those looking for accurate commentaries on the bible. The sign-in is for the site administrator and for him to update his commentaries.

CCS

5

A man dies and goes to heaven...

by Paralipomenon in

...and is greeted at the gates by st. peter.

"welcome to heaven" says peter, "by our records you lived your life as a faithful catholic so i'll lead you to catholic heaven" .

"oh really" says the man "you have different heavens?

Cold Creek Swimmer

What do you get when you cross a JW with an Atheist?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

36

Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses??? huh?

by cultswatter in

does christian congregation of jehovah's witnesses = watch tower bible & tract society?.

i have noticed more and more boe letters and congregational letters that are written by the "christian congregation of jehovah's witnesses".

letters from the society are supposed to come from the watch tower bible & tract society.

Cold Creek Swimmer

Blondie,

I often wonder the same thing. If what was truth then, is not truth now, and if this is God's perfect organization, then god must have changed his mind. I find it quite ironic that in over 2000 years, the basic structure of the bible is still intact, but in less than 150 years 90% of Dub belief is different. How does that work?

CCS

36

Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses??? huh?

by cultswatter in

does christian congregation of jehovah's witnesses = watch tower bible & tract society?.

i have noticed more and more boe letters and congregational letters that are written by the "christian congregation of jehovah's witnesses".

letters from the society are supposed to come from the watch tower bible & tract society.

Cold Creek Swimmer

Blondie,

Thanks for your response. This topic seems to have brought me more questions than answers. From what you are saying, all dubs are irrelevant except as pack mules. It all seems to make sense now-but why doesn't anyone see it now? I get the impression that the annointed have almost become obsolete in this new generation of followers. They seem to be more active as "dead ressurected" ones than they ever did alive. The 1/1/07 WT still bugs me as to how they communicate with these dead ones. When I brought this Q up to a friend after that meeting (a complete coincidence that I was even there), he did not even remember the point. I had to show him in the WT what was said. Standard response-"I'll look that up."

Anyway, again thanks for the response and now I can better understand your thoughts on the matter.

CCS

40

Pathetic Speakers

by Alpaca in

jw
friends

this is great.

i was suffering through an interminably long sunday p.m. public talk (we flip-flopped w/ the other cong--at least sunday a.m. was a little more tolerable because there was still some of the day left to do something).

the speaker was talking about "physical training being beneficial for a little" and how some exercise was necessary.

Cold Creek Swimmer

Great post!

I once spent an entire Sunday talk listening to the speaker talk about the tenacity of a bulldog-based on the song "Jeremiah was a bulldog". When he was finished he sat down and his wife leans over to him and says "Jeremiah was a bullFrog." Nuf said.

36

Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses??? huh?

by cultswatter in

does christian congregation of jehovah's witnesses = watch tower bible & tract society?.

i have noticed more and more boe letters and congregational letters that are written by the "christian congregation of jehovah's witnesses".

letters from the society are supposed to come from the watch tower bible & tract society.

Cold Creek Swimmer

Blondie,

Let me begin by saying that I read here much more than I post. I really enjoy your posts as they are well thought out and full of backup info. In this particular instance though, I have not seen from you anything specific that supports the idea that only annointed are Christian. All of your info points to different info-not a direct line claiming such. I do not believe as dubs do anymore. I faded without the hoopla because I, like many others, have too much family too wrapped up in emotional attachments to be able to see past the BS and look at what is really being taught.

That being said, please explain, if you want to, where specifically this is said. Inferences do not count as actual facts-especially in light of the comments made by Jeffro. Nothing bothers me more than having to defend the WTBS, but I don't see in anything so far that this is the case.

I make these comments with all due respect to your proven track record.

CCS

19

Anyone from Beaverton/Hillsboro Oregon area here?

by lost_light06 in

jw
friends

just curious.

seems to be a lot of mid-west, east coast and "across the pond" folks.

Cold Creek Swimmer

Keizer here. In Portland most days.